Insecure
Posted at 10:42:00 AM
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Recently, I've been concerned about my weight. And I've never really discussed it other than as a joke, but it really irks me. It irks me to see how chubby my belly is and everything and it's just so hard to cope with it every day. One day I've decided to go on some "diet" I've invented, where I just drink cups of water all day. I still eat, but like in small, once or twice, low fat, some-what healthy foods. I'm just really insecure and no one reads this blog anyway, so I thought I mind as well just leave it here. I really want to lose weight before school. I just want help. I want to be skinny.
summer plans..
Posted at 2:36:00 AM
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I got out like three days ago, graduating 7th grade and I have yet to do anything interesting nor exciting. My plans were to just spend the Summer at Nanny and Papa's house and work out and just go places. But that can't possibly happen because for some odd reason my parents won't take me there. I cleaned my room and everything they asked, and I can't just get a three month vacation from them immediately. If only things could just go the way I planned for them to go, I'd be much happier.
Days before school ended, Ellie got mad at me - which is shocking, because we never got into fights. But on the last week of school, I didn't have a yearbook so all I basically did was write in other persons' yearbooks and use theirs to look at pictures and stuff ( it wasn't really that great ). Anyway, I wanted to take a picture of my yearbook picture in P.E. and I sat next to Ellie so I swept her yearbook off of her desk. However, due to Ellie playing too roughly, she tried to snatch it back and her desk tilted over. And then later when I saw her at lunch, she kicked me in the thigh and claimed I ripped her shirt. ..... No comment. But it's all cool now. Long story short ( because I don't want to go into too much detail ), Katie's a bitch and I'm closer with Gabi .. and Kyree is full of himself.
I hope I have a great Summer, because I do not want to waste this once-a-year vacation staying home and doing nothing. I want to explore.
the pressure,
Posted at 1:31:00 AM
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Alright, so recently was my 13th birthday! I need to upload the videos soon, but it was basically just a lot of Happy Birthday's and then we went to Apple Bees and Best Buy to get Saints Row: The Third ( the best game ever, thus far )..Yes, it was a really nice birthday. ^ u ^
Yesterday, we started the STAR tests and I did the English & Literature section.. then later today we have the Math test. I won't lie, but I'm a bit worried - because my Math teacher really just sucks at teaching. He should just stick to being a darn Wrestling coach since that's the only thing he's good at. Either I have to study or just make educated guesses the entire way.. and that won't be good.
Also yesterday, I was at the library.. and I went behind the desk, which is perfectly fine with the librarian, where ever she was. But the little dweebs behind there think that they just rule the entire library with their dumb books. But I was pressured out by this .. freakin' kid named Steven - who was about to be knocked out in 2.6 seconds if he continued with this attitude. What is wrong with going behind a desk? Whatever, let me just wait until the tests are over before I do anything that'll affect me in my school life.
That just made me.. angry. I also need to fix up this bland blog so I hope I remind myself to do so..
Might Get Better
Posted at 1:42:00 AM
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I've been struck with the worst cold of my life recently. It mostly consists of coughing really hard and sneezing a lot. I even had to go to the doctor today.. what a wonderful four day weekend. I still have it and I have to take these pills two times a day until they go away. But until then, I'm stuck with this stupid cold. :<
On Thursday, I had the most awkward Directed Studies period. Kyree pressured me to put my arm around Katie, but apparently I kept doing everything wrong. Honestly, it was because I felt uncomfortable and I don't like her like that. And her reaction was due to her not liking me like that. But anyway, some people stared from afar at the table. Now, they judge me. It's so weird, but it was just a joke. But I really don't mind if more people hate me.
However it's Easter and I just want to have some fun, eating the contents of my Easter basket and getting some rest. Yeah, that sounds pretty good. But hopefully I feel better when I go back to school because I don't want a million cough attacks again in all of my classes. v( = - = v )
In this post, I'm going to sound like an annoying teenage girl. There's these two boys, Chris and Nicky, that go outside all the time. They used to come to my house and ask to hang out and whatnot. Yeah, ever since this Summer, they haven't been doing that.
There's there's kid across the street named Zack. He was actually pretty cool when I met him. Then he tried to act like he was all tough and cool [ he's 8 ], and now he's trying to act like nothing happened and tried to act like he's cool with me. He doesn't come to my house anymore because he honestly started being annoying.
Do you know who'd they rather ask to go outside with them? Jared, some douche in my P.E. class that lives in the street below mine. He was cool, but then he started to act all against me for no reason. He likes to label me by "a black kid" and wants to ditch me when I hang out.
Eff all of them. They all aren't smart honestly. Even today, I seen that Zack got to Jared now playing in his front yard. Zack got to every kid around here and is all of a sudden my replacement. I don't even think I'm even remembered or considered an option anymore.
We got our yearbooks today. Mine was paid for at the beginning of the year, so I just got mine. I didn't get as many people to sign it as I wanted to, mainly because the teachers don't like seeing the yearbooks publically out in class for "protection" reasons so it doesn't get stolen.
I'm honestly going to miss 6th Grade and all of the friends I made over the Summer. Probably because I have dreams about school, which is pretty creepy. I just want to relax and have an epic Summer without teachers lecturing me. ;D I also felt unprepared for sixth grade since I was SO reluctant to do homework. And that's what screwed me up. Seventh grade is REALLY tough, so I'll try my best. ;)
So, today I got dropped off at my house from my aunt. But usually, there's someone there to open the door for me, either Cami or Mo. Cami was at work today, so Mo was expected to open the door for me. But she wasn't there, and the garage door was locked shut.
When I got back in the car, Amy ( mah aunt ) called up Monique asking where she was and she said she was doing her hair in Fairfield. Amy didn't know ANYTHING about this, so she got in a rant. It made me feel so guilty, so I apologized but she said it's not my fault.
I ended the day around 7 O'Clock goin' home with some McDonalds, watching Chappelle's Show with a McShake. After I saw that the new South Park was just stupid, I went on Twitter. And I saw Mo ranting about how her hairstyle wasn't the way she wanted. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? asdfghjkl; This is so stupid. She should've did it her own self at home; she has supplies. It made me so angry.
I'm trying to ignore it, since I didn't really have a bad day. Being at Amy's house was fun. Chillin' with Alexis listening to her terrible playlist along with Ramen and Facebook. It was incredibly fun! :) I guess that's all I have to type. Goodbyebye.
I was an insomniac again wasting time listening to Lady Gaga and watching my online friend take drawing requests from me. Turns out, I wasn't even tired throughout the day. Although I DID take a nap, like I always do and woke up to spaghetti.
In the morning, it was horrible. My dad was in a bad attitude yelling at me because my shirt was wrinkled and criticizing what I wore. In my mind I was like, Why would you care that my shirt was wrinkled in the first place? He also yelled at my sister which made her cry in her room. He later apologized in a text message, but it's unforgivable of the words that he even said. He needs to start saying sorry in real life in front of everybody. We know your act. Luckily, I wasn't late to school because of that.
In English class, where I took my state tests, I drew a comic of why I hate tests on the back of my Math scratch paper. Ever since then, my teacher has been bugging me to remake it so it could get published in the school newspaper. It's not like I don't want to, but at the same time, it's like leave me alone. Haha.
Turns out rock-climbing wasn't that bad. I did okay on my first try, in my opinion. Some things I'm not even sure I could even climb. It's basically impossible knowing that the rock that could help you get up is being used by the person next to you. It's the worst thing ever.
During Math class, I got called to Triple A, a place where you do missing homework during lunch. Turns out my Science teacher sent me there because of something I did. I told the teacher in Triple A that I had to tell her that I did it. I brought along the paper she had to sign to get it out to her class before the next period. She told me to prove it and bring the paper, so I went back to Triple A and got that out. I went up to her classroom again with the assignment ( by the way, her class already started ) and she explained that her TA corrected it and she didn't put in my grade for it. Guess what I forgot? THE OTHER PAPER. So, I went back, grabbed my things, I gave her the paper and she signed it and I left. So I wasted my lunch period for no reason.
I literally sat there clueless and tired during last period. Being absent Monday, I had no idea how to do this wacky worksheet. Plus, I didn't really care if I did it or not. So instead, I snuck off to go talk to my former stoner friend. I was so reluctant and stubborn. Plus, my teacher for that class told me that I had a missing assignment that I ALREADY turned in. Stupid.
The dance unit in P.E. is finally over at least. Now, we're going over to rock-climbing. Somehow I'm both excited and nervous at the same time. Our substitute teacher for the unit told us that we have to memorize all of this random stuff because we're going to have a written test. He also explained that it's fun and yadda yadda, but it's also DANGEROUS. Plus, I have acrophobia, which isn't a good combination.
Lately, this blog has been sounding so depressing and filled with negativity. I never noticed that my life sucked so much in my opinion. I need to stop and say something positive...
I suddenly hate everything about my house right now. So apparently whenever one of my parents are on a diet, they have to force US on a diet as well. Not like we're obese or anything. they probably just have low self-esteem.
They took away all of the junk food and now they just make random salads. And my sister cooks chicken and random meals in the afternoon which gives my mom an excuse not to cook, because she's lazy most of the time.
What I don't understand is that all you have to do is exercise and eat healthy and this is working on like two people in the house. It was much better the way it was with Ramen and sandwich meat and whatever. Now it's just all boring and blahblahblah. I don't want to sound fat, but she shouldn't be forcing people to go on a diet just because she doesn't know how to eat healthy. Due to that, all she bought was healthy foods ( the kinds that taste disgusting ). Leave me alone.
I also have a Math test tomorrow that I have to study for ( eventually when I feel like it ). I hate this week so much. Hopefully it'll get better soon.
My grandma moved today to a house down the hill. I was up the hill and down the hill all day either playing with a soccer ball or actually helping. I only grabbed about 8 boxes because it was SO boring there.
We had McDonalds eventually and I ate like a pig. The only thing I had before that was some Captain Crunch cereal, so I was basically starving. Every time I was sitting down to relax, she immediately told me to go unload some boxes. But there were already people helping, so what's the big deal?
But this is written by someone whose favorite song is this:
That explains my life times infinity after discovering the internet.
After we left, we picked up Cami from Safeway. She then complained that she was hungry, but my mom smoked some tweeds so we can't drive anywhere. That's pretty smart.
Now, they're debating on which pizza place to order from. Let's see. ;)
Today, my mom had to have a doctor's appointment at Kaiser Permanente. It was weird that Mo and I were trapped in the car the whole time listening to music on the radio. We suddenly even got bored and starting filming ourselves acting crazy while car-dancing. It was like we were on weed.
It was a pretty suckish day, because we were in there for HOURS! Then we went to check out my Grandma's small, new house. First, I was tired of being in the car. Then, I was tired of standing up and singing Friday silently to myself.
By the way, my dad brought me three Cup of Noodles from my other grandma, and ate it all before the day even ended. It was the only thing I had to eat other than this huge burrito which I finished in like less than 5 minutes as well.
And did you watch the new episode of Degrassi? Eh, it was okay. I expected a little more suspense. The promos make it seem better than it was.
I'm Jimmy & I'm a 13 year-old from California. In my free time, I like to write raps. I barely ever text back. I'm half asleep when I'm awake. And I always want to try new things. Yeeeuup.