Thursday, March 1, 2012
better yourself, Posted at 3:55:00 AM 0 comments (+)
I apologize for not updating recently, haha. But it's all good. To basically clear up everything: Gabi and I made up, Ellie no longer likes me, me and Malaika went out, made out in the hallway, then we broke up. Now, I'm currently in love with Amanda and that's my only love. For some reason, she's just someone I want. So innocent and just - I don't know. She makes me smile. And some of my friends might shun me for this, but if they're truly my friends then they would be happy for me. But at the same time, I don't know if I'm making the same mistake again or what.

Anyway, my P.E. class took a quiz today that goes to the straight of California and it's confidential. It just asks a whole bunch of questions then asks about drugs and bullying. I never tried drugs or considered myself a victim of bullying so I couldn't really put anything down. One of the questions were like 'Is it easy to obtain marijuana?' or something, and it honestly is, but i'm not gonna put that down, of course. Then they asked if you tried cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana or whatever and my answer sheet consisted mostly of 0 times, because I never even try anything which I guess is good.

The quarter is ending next week so I'm gonna have a buttload of tests heading my way and I still need to make up some Math and History work in my free-time so i'll get acceptable grades. History is actually very easy, but I just never really made it my top priority. And I just I don't understand a lot of what my Math teacher teaches because he can't explain things well and only guides us through some examples and then he just expects us all to get it. I plan on just mindlessly working to a lot of make-up work this Saturday. I just hope that me & Lucas don't get held back through - because that'd suck.

Recently I've been listening to a lot of Erykah Badu, specifically On & On, Honey and Bag Lady. But I'm going to give her a break before I get annoyed by her music. So, here's what I've been listening to my whole entire time writing Find Your Love by Drake...

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Saturday, February 11, 2012
don't forgive, never forget, Posted at 10:37:00 PM 0 comments (+)

Friday was just a revolutionary day. I returned to school, made sure I didn't fall asleep like I did the day before. Third period was P.E. and I knew that Gabi was going to be mad at me. She's kind of one of those friends who would want the best for you but doesn't really know what the best is for herself. We're in a fight right now, and all I think of her at the moment is hard-headed and annoying and ungraceful. Katie kept telling me the period before that she replaced me in this dance unit we're doing because I was supposed to work with Gabi. I said it was fine and she told me that she owes me one.


Later on when I met up with her, she kept saying how I ditched purposely and how Amanda, who didn't even move, "doesn't even like me" and my move to ask her to be my valentine was desperate. I kept trying to apologize to her, but I just had to say fuck it. That night, I wrote a rap because she was just that annoying and it bothered me so much.


Even her IMing me that night so she could say "I don't know if I should forgive you or not" is just bullshit. I'm fucking sorry that I missed one day even though I got the choreography down and we could've did it on Friday anyway. And when I was preforming, I looked dumb because I couldn't steal your routine because you're doing it with Katie. It's just messed up and it made me furious right now.


Speaking of that, I think Treshaela, the girl I knew since 2nd grade has a crush on me, simply because she keeps asking if I have a valentine and she IMs me every second on Facebook. I could already tell it.


This is all I have to say right now, because writing this post just reminded me of how much Gabi crushed me tho.

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Tuesday, February 7, 2012
the one that got away, Posted at 7:31:00 PM 0 comments (+)
Today, my return to school, I got some news that I have no idea what to feel for. They told me that Amanda had moved. The only reason that I don't know what to feel is because of like the rollercoaster history that we had.

I'm sad only because I didn't get to say goodbye to her, but I'll keep her memories. I mean, school won't be the same anymore as if a chunk has been missing. At the same time, I'm glad I no longer have to go through drama with her.

Worst news is: I do NOT have a Valentine! I tried to ask Katie, but she apparently she's taken. To her, I'm probably just a little puppy or something. It isn't weird to have your best friend be your valentine, right?

That reminds me of when I told Gabi that it'd be ironic if we got married. Then, I wasn't expecting this answer by the way, she said that she's not holding anything against me. What she's basically saying is that if it happens then it happens. So if I want her and she want me, then it could y'know happen.

Malaika isn't on me all over the place anymore; Katie got a valentine before I asked her; Gabi - I don't know, I need to ask her. She's my only hope, haha.

Ah well, we'll see what happens. Hm, I said 'happens' a LOT in this post, huh? =u=

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Monday, February 6, 2012
never would've known, Posted at 2:04:00 AM 0 comments (+)
Superbowl was Sunday. Giants won. I'm posting this at 2 in the morning, because I have nothing better to do, and I really need to pour some feelings out somewhere.

Saturday, I woke up. I got on Facebook and got a message from one of my friends. She used to always act shy around me and just giggle at everything I say. But when I opened it up, she said she had a crush on me and not to tell anyone. I'll have to give her credit from telling me straight up because it takes true... bravery to do that. I didn't even think I would get 3 crushes on me in the past year; this is a record thus far.

I won't tell a soul - except this blog and a few of my internet friends - but I don't think blogs have souls. What kind of friend would I be if I told Amanda, who I broke up with on Friday but is still friends with; who likes to tell others' crushes TO their crushes, going against everything she instructed me not to. That pretty much sounds like i'm a soft, sensitive-ass douche, right? Oh well, if there's anything I'll be is the one loyal person someone could trust.

Except now, I have no idea what to say to her when I go back to school in like 6 hours. Do I just play it off, pretend nothing happened, and treat her the way I always used to before this news? That's what I was thinking, and that's really what's best.

Also, on an unrelated note, sometimes I get like a feeling around this person that I think they have the same feeling for me. Like I keep thinking about them, and I do notice the hits they place on me. I don't know. Life's confusing right now.

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Thursday, January 19, 2012
Potentially Rebellious Posted at 6:11:00 PM 0 comments (+)
Today was relatively interesting. For starters, Amanda still has feelings for me, but I'm just tired of being hot and cold with that girl, and plus we weren't even together. But according to her, we are. I don't know what the future will come and it seems like everything is breaking apart, but I honestly need a new life anyhow at school.

In the morning, I saw Malaika. I mentioned her before as one of the girls who didn't like my ex. But as soon as we locked eyes, she hugged me and kissed me on my neck. I honestly don't know how I felt at that moment, because I obviously didn't expect it. Mostly just happiness and relief. Which was, y'know, a good way to start the day.

However, after P.E., Gabi started getting on my nerves. She's also one of those people who don't even like Amanda and she's always in my business and talking loudly and all up in my face. Like, you needa step back because this is none of your concern. I told her to stay away from me because I really didn't feel like talking to her after I told her a thousand times to shut up.

That's one of the worst things about having girls as friends. They're always concerned about what everyone else is doing. All they do is talk, talk, talk. And they just like to gossip behind others' backs.

I don't know what to say about this, but I think I'm done with this entire crew. I don't know what the future has in store for me, but I'm over this.

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Wednesday, December 28, 2011
christmas '11. Posted at 1:53:00 AM 0 comments (+)
Christmas Eve, I dressed up with Momo and Mom to Amy's house for a party. All the time there I basically just tore up the snack table, killed my phone battery, and messed with my cousin Alexis. It was hilarious. From there, I received a sketchbook with a 24 pack of colored pencils. Which is automatic just love. And from Grandma, I got a couple of shirts with sayings on them.

Later that night, I was actually trying to sleep to get up early but holiday insomnia hit me. For some reason, I'd rather sleep downstairs but I obviously couldn't do that tonight. So I tried to sleep on the floor in Cami's room next to a pile of clothes in the dark. Didn't work. Then I was invited in Momo's room where I was still on the floor, of course. Comes midnight, Mo's friend Breanna calls and they're on the phone for five hours. I could sleep with noise, but it was just something about my brain wanting to be awake. There arrives four, and Breanna has to go. Mo puts away her phone and we try to get some sleep. Then I talk about my school life so far, which I'll get to later. After that, we watch Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory until the time that me and Mo planned to wake up our parents - six in the morning.

When the time arrived, I woke up Cami then my parents. They took a while to get out of bed, but waiting for them we just ate the candy from our stockings and admire the presents. I already knew one thing that I were going to get - a laptop and a printer. Well, two things. I got jeans, a gopher hat, and some shirts. Come to thought, I never gotten my WWE '12 game, shoes, or some sweatpants.

After having some nice breakfast, trying out outfits, playing with my new laptop, I took a quick nap. Then I got dressed in my new clothes, headed out to Nanny's house, and had a feast there. I received pajamas from my aunt and grandma and the Take Care album ( bootleg ) from my cousin, Kerri, or as I call her on here, Domo. Meanwhile, we had a nice dinner and I had to sit at the most fun table - the kids' table. After playing with my laptop there, we headed home around late 11:30.

I loved that Christmas. It was crazy, just how I like it.

Remember how I said I was talking about my school life before Christmas? The last day of the semester, I learned that Amanda was sorry about how she treated me. As forgiving as Tauruses are, we passed notes swearing in History. We got caught, but got off the hook with my teacher. Later on before school ended, she asked if she could go out with me again. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but it was like I was hypnotized. My lips let out a chill mood 'sure'. Gabi, whose birthday was that day, didn't like that at all. Of course we discussed it. She's my best friend. Gabs immediately disagreed with me. And I planned to break up with her softly when I return from break to take on second semester.

Thanks, 2011. As far as these 29 posts were concerned, you were pretty alright with me.

Happy New Year, everybody.

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Tuesday, December 20, 2011
don't trust them h***. Posted at 11:24:00 PM 0 comments (+)
December 1st, I asked a girl named Amanda out, who I found out had a crush on me. Two weeks and a half later, I broke up with her - but I'm not the bad guy.

First of all, basically everyone hated my girlfriend. Halea, Malaika, and my sister Momo are only a few to name. Before the relationship, I asked her what would happen if I went out with her, Gabi said that she probably wouldn't be stable in any relationship.

All day December 18th leading up to P.E., everything was cool and I didn't suspect anything. Then when it suddenly reached P.E., she wanted nothing to do with me. When I talked, all she did was roll her eyes. Then I heard shit being talked towards me. Whoa, hold up.

When it reached lunch, I had AAA with Gabi and I broke up with her right on the spot. I'm glad I didn't give her a present for Christmas anyway 'cause after I gave her the Prince Charming, she tossed it in the trash.

I think it's good revenge that all of her friends came to me, and she's left talking to the kid she bullies.

I'm over you, hoe.

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Sunday, September 4, 2011
'til it's over. Posted at 5:56:00 PM 0 comments (+)
It's already been two and a half weeks of school and I'm doing good so far. I realized that all you have to do to pass 7th grade is to do your homework and do your make-up homework when it's late. Last year, I was just lazy. I was the definition of reluctant. I'm not going to let myself down by flunking everything due to procrastination. Honestly, just getting it all done makes me less stressed and less worried.
My classes for my 7th grade year are:

1. Drama [▬▬▬]
2. Math [▬▬▬]
3. Science [▬▬▬]
4. English [▬▬▬]
5. History [▬▬▬▬▬]
6. P.E. [▬▬]
→ Drama
Mrs. ▬▬▬ probably has the most fun class I ever had. In Drama, all you have to do is games ( inspired by improv shows ) and skits. I usually sit next to Lucas, Tess, and Magnolia because they're my gangstas of this class. I could let out my sense of humor there and I'm glad I can. Next semester, I have Art instead of Drama. I'm not intrigued by it or anything, due to the fact that I believe I draw well, but I hope that at least some of my friends are there.

→ Math
The only fun part about Math is the people that make me laugh in it. They definitely messed up my first impression to Mr. ▬▬▬. The people that make me laugh have to be Nick, who I sit across from, and Quay, who is all the way across the room. They make me laugh to the point I don't even feel like doing homework in class because I can't think straight. It's hilarious though and I have no regrets.

→ Science
Unless I'm mistaken, Science is next. It's so awesome to be in there, and it's yet another class with Quay in it, so you know I'm laughing hard in that class too. It's just so fun to be next to bad kids who make you laugh. Anyways, in this class, we do a lot of quick labs and fun stuff that involves art. So yeah, it's pretty righteous.

→ English
I was late to this class on the first day because I got rooms mixed up. Because of that, I sat next to Ellie, who I don't know very well, but I make her laugh, so it's okay. Originally, we sat behind these two girls, Kelsey and Sonali. They always gave me hints that they don't like me. One day, I just asked if I could move and it was done. Now, I sit behind Jezzy who makes me laugh and always gives me hugs and stuff. The next day, I was walking and Sonali came up to me and was like, 'You thought we didn't like you?' And I was playing dumb like, 'No.' Mrs. ▬▬▬ blew my cover obviously. Then Sonali was like, 'Sorry if you felt that way.' The whole time we were giggling. Apparently we're cool now. But who in their right mind would misinterpret the situation?

→ History
This class is kind of boring. We do history in it. I sit next to Breanna, Amanda, and Addy so it's okay. Also Kenneth sits way in the back, but we're cool too. I honestly have no opinion of this class yet or anything to say about it. Mrs. ▬▬▬▬ is funny.

→ P.E.
First off, this class is huge. I hang out mainly with Bryan, probably since we knew each other longer and he's there. A lot of the people I don't know there, but soon we're going to get split up. But if I go to another class/I stay, god forbid my friends don't come/stay with me. If my friends just aren't around, I couldn't survive, man. I just couldn't.

I've been making awkward love songs and raps lately, due to the fact I had a crush on that person again. But you know, it's not going to happen. We're just friends and it'll make things weird. I'll never date a friend again. That doesn't work out good, like at all.

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Wednesday, May 4, 2011
government hooker Posted at 6:13:00 PM 0 comments (+)

The Math STDS CSTs are officially here. Of course it justs takes longer to finish because it always mentions sales tax on money problems. I'm like, I don't know why I need to know this in the first place.

After school, I FINALLY got a new Jansport backpack. I admit that the Go, Diego, Go backpack had a mile long hole in it that's pretty obvious. It was also getting raggedy and I looked like a darn hobo. I'm glad that I finally got a new backpack at Target that costed THIRTY DOLLARS. It was pretty much worth it because it's very useful. :D I feel so organized.

And if you're asking why da fudge the title is the way it is, it's because I feel the love again. I don't know why, but every time I get near - I don't know. I could just feel it.

Also, my new favorite thing in the world is Canada Dry. (:


Yeah, it's not in the picture, but I just want to make this look colorful..

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Monday, May 2, 2011
slow it down Posted at 3:53:00 PM 0 comments (+)

California Standardized Test: English-Language Arts, a.k.a. the easiest part of the entire test. We started up the test E period. It's always been super-duper easy for me since I mastered the basics mostly. I didn't feel pressured and I finished very early, so I was entirely bored and couldn't wait for class to end.

You know who's in that class? The person I had a crush on the whole time. The strange thing was I suddenly didn't feel it anymore. The feelings went away each time we talked after and before the test. I'm so glad this happened, because I don't think I'm ready for a relationship in the first place. There's like a 2 in 20 chance it'll even happen anyway.

It's Cami's 21st birthday, as I think I mentioned already, and I feel so bad for her. She has a sneeze and she has work until like 7:45 P.M. It'll all pay off when we celebrate it after she gets off. We might go to dinner or something exciting hopefully.

Writing this from 4 in the afternoon, that's all the excitement and what I have in store. Besides the fact I have no homework this week. I wouldn't have did it anyways. I also mastered procrastination. ;)


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make the first move Posted at 2:20:00 AM 0 comments (+)

Today is my oldest sister, Cami's, 21st birthday. I should really consider making her a gift, but my only talents are common sense and drawing. Plus I have major art block and I don't even know what I'm drawing. I should at least still try after school at least.

School is awkwardly the second thing on my mind right now. I'm so reluctant to go to school. There's supposed to be state tests starting this week. It's not that I'm nervous ( i kinda am ), but I'm just afraid that I'll fail. That's why I need to step up and try my best to work harder at it. Remember that Math test I'm talking about? Going to have to take it during class. ;) Hopefully I have time to study during Lunch instead of being a goof.

The first thing on my mind - uh - I'll just admit it here. I have a crush on someone at school. :C We started to talk more and we're on a road to being best buds, but I kind of want it to be farther in a way. In a way, I could feel the love tension although it's not even there. I don't even want to make the first move just like someone did in a past experience, but if I really want 'em I'll just have to build up the confidence. Corny love picture from WeHeartIt time.


I'm so scared of what they'll think though. I guess that's how that someone felt when they pulled it off on me. I don't know. I feel trapped in emotions. Real guys don't want to admit it, but on this blog I'm all truthful.

Should I do it or not? I'm afraid, but I want it at the same time. Hopefully I'll figure it out..

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I'm Jimmy & I'm a 13 year-old from California. In my free time, I like to write raps. I barely ever text back. I'm half asleep when I'm awake. And I always want to try new things. Yeeeuup.
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